Girls are just moody

Paul has known me long enough to know that when sentences like “Girls are just moody” fly out of his mouth, he better be ready for a fight. We had just had a particularly difficult morning with Natalie, capping off months of issues ranging from crying in school, refusing to go to class and lying. It seems we are at an impasse on how to tackle the issues. I would like to dig deeper into what might be causing this behavior. This morning, Paul has made his opinion known. This too shall pass because “girls are just moody.”

My instant flicker of rage results in a Cheshire Cat grin. He thinks my reaction proves his point. I communicate that this is not random emotion caused by estrogen, or whatever he thinks causes a girl’s moodiness. I am insulted that he would treat months and months of concern with such passivity and nonchalance.

He will certainly point out that even blogging about this episode proves his point. I steadfastly disagree and hope that one day we can bring this up in front of his mother. I’d love to see him call her moody.

Racial Slurs and Basketball

I will never forget the time that a man in a big pick-up truck told my mom to “…go back to your own country.”  The man had just taken the parking spot my mom had been waiting for at the naval hospital.  I was sick with a high fever and she had rushed to get me into urgent care.  This part is a little fuzzy (I was a little hopped up on St. Joseph’s aspirin) but next thing I know my mom yells “You go back to your country. This country belongs to the Indians!” and then she threatened to punch him in the face (Go mom!).  Once we got into the hospital, the insult was the least of her worries.  Unfortunately for me, I never forgot it.
 
This memory has scarcely occupied my mind in the last 10 years but this morning something I read something triggered it again.  I was reading a story about a standout basketball player at Harvard named Jeremy Lin.  Lin’s basketball skills could lead the Crimson to their first March Madness berth in 64 years.  For Harvard, this is a huge deal and his notoriety is drawing huge crowds and ignorant people.  Being part of the less than .05% of men’s division one basketball players that is Asian American, his ethnicity is at the center of the cruel taunts that he receives at schools around the country. After beating Georgetown, a spectator yelled, “Sweet-and-sour pork!” Really, is this 1965 or 2010? If this is what is happening at the best institutions of higher learning, what can this mean for my kids growing up in the real world?

Anytime I worry about things like this Paul dismisses me and says that our kids will be immune to this type of thing because they look half white. I’m not convinced. I can’t claim to have anything as humiliating as being in a segregated school or having to sit in the back of the bus but I can assure you that during my life I’ve been subjected to ignorant people saying ignorant things to me.

How has Jeremy Lin reacted? With grace and dignity that is a credit to not only Asian Americans but all Americans. He’s not bitter and did not mouth off about the racial slurs that he hears on the court. A devout Christian, he plans to spend his life after basketball as a minister “...helping others.” I hope that I can learn from his example if my kids are ever on the receiving end of this type of ignorance.

Begging to Wash the Dishes

Yes, my friends, it’s true. My 8 year-old son Maxwell pleaded with us this morning to wash the dishes. The volume of breakfast dishes is far smaller than for any other meal for our family 6, but we still tried to discourage him, telling him once he starts, he’ll have to do it on a consistent basis, not just when he wants to.

Maxwell is terrific at starting things. He initiated his two current chores, collecting the trash inside the house twice and week and Swiffering under the dinner table, in much the same way as the dish washing episode this morning. In the beginning it was all about initiative and enthusiasm but as the weeks rolled on, and doing his chores began to interfere with his play time, he pretty much lost interest and there’s a fair amount of eye rolling and foot stomping when we remind him to do it. He will argue like a district attorney giving closing arguments on a murder case that he never wanted to collect the trash or Swiffer. Maxwell also suffers from short term memory loss.

It remains to be seen if his interest in dish washing extends beyond this weekend. He has a birthday party to attend today and I suspect he may have been brown nosing a bit to get me to spend a wad of cash on an expensive birthday gift for his friend. Paul suggested that we video tape the next time he pleads for a chore to reinforce his short term memory.