You Can't Deny the Big Balls

Quick! Name five prime time television shows that you would be comfortable watching with four kids under the age of 10. Now, pretend that Idol season is over, ditto So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing with the Stars. OK, quiz over. I’m guessing your list is as disappointingly short as mine, which is not to say that I advocate watching television every night, but in this economic climate I think it’s plum loco to spend over $75 to take the kids out to the movies.

This summer when I returned from a longer than usual business trip, I watched my four kids pile into bed with their dad to watch ABC’s Wipeout. I was not familiar with show but trusted (probably at my own peril) that my husband had already screened it. As I unpacked I could hear the giggle fits and shouts of “Owww, that’s gotta hurt!” coming from the bedroom. They are now obsessed.

I’ve recently discovered there’s a secret society of Wipeout fanatics all around us. They’re lurking in every corner, old friends, new friends, business acquaintances, co-workers, the postman, my CPA and my gay hairdresser. It seems there is no demographic profile for this show, only the common factor of people enjoying watching other people take huge spills for the chance to win money.

My husband has kidded that he wants to audition for the show. This elicits cheers of, “DADDY! DADDY! DADDY! My daddy is going to win and buy me a pony!” The truth is that my husband cannot spin around three times without hurling so I’m guessing his chances of winning are slim to none. So much for that new pony.

Don't Judge a Book

Before you begin reading, I think it’s only fair to warn you that I’m going to be gushing about our new American Idol, Kris Allen. If you’ve grown tired of reading what seems like endless articles dissecting the season, I’ll let you know now that I won’t attempt to repeat what other “real” media are going on about. If you still think the whole topic is completely banal, I won’t be offended if you end your reading now…

OK, for those who have chosen to go down my path of crazy, I totally heart Kris Allen! I just read another article about him in Entertainment Weekly and while some may think he’s blah, I think he’s amazing. In the article, he comments on the media making the finale a culture war between the “edgy, androgynous Lambert” and Kris, the “wholesome, Christian Allen.” To this brouhaha he said, “It’s frustrating that the world is still like that. Like, get over it. Adam and I are great, great friends. Our relationship is, hopefully, an inspiration to people: No matter who you are, you can get along with anyone.”

Could Kris Allen’s brand of openness and acceptance be the formula for peace in the Middle East? No, probably not. but it certainly makes me think of times in my life when someone who has presented themselves in an outer package that I might not understand has surprised and delighted me. I was in high school in the 80’s and when I first started seeing girls and boys wearing thick eye liner, black nail polish, chains and studs and spiky hair, I have to admit that I met the trend with a mix of suspicion and fear. Were these kids subversive? Would they be kids that would be nice to me in biology class if I was assigned to them as a lab partner? Does that nose piercing hurt? Are they really all depressed and do they really spend hours listening to Morrissey on repeat?

I befriended a few of the “mods” through various classes throughout my time in high school and they turned out to be some of the coolest people at my school. I graduated thinking that these would be the photographers, costume designers, fine artists, wardrobe stylists and style arbiters of tomorrow and was ultimately envious that I might never be as cool. I hope my kids can take a cue from “Our Kris” and hopefully from their mom and live their life never judging a book by its cover. Who knew there would be so many teachable moments from one season of American Idol?

Arkansas in the House!

Unless you are living in a tent in African Congo, you know that Kris Allen upset Adam Lambert to be crowned the newest American Idol. I’ve been a fan of both men throughout the season and know that both will get record deals in a hot minute. While I think it was clear that Adam out sang Kris in the final, Kris’ performance of Ain’t No Sunshine was pretty spectacular, better than the first time he sang it. Anyone that attempts Bill Withers and pulls it off is a winner in my book.

From his first audition Kris Allen was criticized for not believing in himself enough, for not owning the confidence (Simon called it vanity) that could convince a nation that he WAS the next American Idol. Even upon his winning he was gracious, saying that he thought Adam deserved to win. You’d have to be extremely cynical to think that Kris was being disingenuous. I for one applaud his humility and I’ll tell you why.

In a world where professional athletes perform “impromptu” dances in the end zone before the final score is tallied, beauty queens utter one controversial comment and get anointed a voice of a party and businessmen risk the economic health of a country by gambling that their overconfidence and hubris can keep a bull market going, what is wrong with a little humility? I’m all about self-love and self-belief but I’m finding that a little dose of humility can’t hurt in a world where delusional amounts of confidence is churning out kids that display no grace in winning and even less grace in losing.

Kris Allen was raised right. The people of Arkansas should be very, very proud.