A Bully with a Marker

Days with no surprises are good. Wake up early, check. Take car, ferry and subway to work, check. Go home and have dinner with the family, check. Fall asleep after watching The Daily Show, check. This may seem too routine for some, but when you have four kids and a super OCD complex, days like this mean a good night of sleep and one less potential ulcer.

A day with a surprise like your daughter coming home from school with a ruined dress covered with marker graffiti on the back is bad, especially if said daughter has already mentioned that the devil spawn that did it has been bullying her and if said daughter spent 6 months last year crying everyday at school. Paul, as ever, was completely cool about it. “I’ll send a note to her teacher tomorrow.” I dropped my bag and started plotting a Kill Bill like revenge scenario.

Lest anyone is worried, I really didn’t consider physical harming my daughter’s first grade classmate, but I did decide to take the matter in person to Natalie’s teacher and principal. Paul winced as he saw my mental wheels in motion. “Snitches get stitches. If the kids find out she ratted someone out, they’re gonna mess with her.” I was unconvinced. She’s six after all, not in the mob.

I went with my gut and made my way to the school the next day. As I passed throngs of children, construction paper Halloween projects and little people furniture, I thought I would lose my nerve. Kids do naughty things all the time, don’t they? Then I thought about the long, thick stripes of indelible marker all over Natalie’s ruined dress and my resolve came back.

Natalie’s teacher reacted to the story and the dress with a mix of coolness and ambivalence so I turned on my heel and marched straight to the principal’s office. The principal, thankfully, is the kind of woman every parent would want running a school; approachable, articulate, a good listener and above all, someone who believes in accountability. After she assured me that she would be speaking to the parents of the devil spawn, I immediately felt better about the world.

Mind you, a day with a surprise like winning the lottery would definitely not suck. Now, if I could just find a really good stain remover to get the ink out of the dress.