Raising Extortionists

Well into my ninth year of parenting, I’m still unsure and lost about a great many things.  I still don’t know how to get my kids to eat more vegetables.  There are days when I think, will I ever get them to brush their teeth properly?  My kids are told at least once a day to put their dirty clothes in the hamper and nearly every day we find clothes on the floor (always less than 6 inches from the hamper!).

One thing that I am convinced of more and more everyday is that my old school parents got some things right.  When we were kids and my mom or dad told us to do something, they didn’t do a dance about why or give us any incentive, they said do it “or else.”  When I’m trying to get my kids to do something as simple as tidying up the basement, I often find myself doing a Braveheart style speech, explaining, often lamely, how they need to contribute to the betterment of the household or resorting to straight up bribery.  They want a sticker, a star on a chart, candy or a new IPod app for doing just about anything. 

When you look at the bigger picture, it’s disgusting how incentive driven we’ve become.  Starving kids in third-world countries go to sleep hungry and yet we give toys to kids for eating a Happy Meal.  Some of my cousins in the Philippines are just happy to have food in their bellies and I have to hear some sob story about how Paulina wanted the Strawberry Shortcake toy that Natalie got for an entire car ride and then some.

It’s no wonder so many kids have become little extortionists. The other day I asked Aidan to put his shoes away and he said, “OK, but can I have some Sour Patch Kids?” When even three year-olds are mastering the art of trying to get something for doing the basics, you know something is really out of whack. Thank goodness for Paul. To this request he said, “No, but I can give you a helping of my foot in your ass.”