Kindergarten Disobedience

A few months ago my daughter Natalie did the unthinkable. She was having a bad day at school and refused to do her schoolwork (I mean how hard is it to color or glue pieces of paper together?) and after recess, she refused to come into the classroom. After coaxing and pleading, her teacher finally had to ask the principal to come down and talk to her and instead of complying, she stood there as if she didn’t hear him! OH NO SHE DIDN’T! I thought my head was going to explode!

I had nothing in my box of coping skills to deal with this. As a child, especially at the age of 6, it never occurred to me to question, defy or test the boundaries with authority figures. Me and my three brothers were stepford children in that respect. Maybe it was because we are from an immigrant family and are loathe to rock the boat. Maybe having strict parents molded us early on to have a healthy respect for anyone that was older or taller than us.

I was inconsolable. My husband said it was no big deal and that she was just trying to get attention. I had visions of my daughter becoming one of those women behind bars that ends up on an MSNBC documentary style special talking about how her perfectionist, Type A mom damaged her to the point of becoming a career criminal. I couldn’t breath. Visions of future bad behavior swirled through my mind like a carousel running at 100 mph.

When she came home, I asked her why she did what she did. She looked down and said, “I don’t know.” My lip quivered as I explained to her why I was so disappointed in her and I found myself on the verge of tears while simultaneously feeling the urge to spank her little butt. She just stared at me blankly, displaying no sign of understanding that what she did was wrong or that she was sorry. After staring each other down for a few minutes, she finally broke eye contact and asked if she could have some chips for a snack - - OH NO SHE DIDN’T!

That night I told my husband that I just did not understand her. Why was she rebelling at such a young age? Why was she giving her teacher a hard time? Why was she questioning authority? Paul just smirked and said, “She’s just a kid. That’s what kids do.”