That One Thing

The urban legend about me is that I was speaking full sentences when I was 11 months old. The joke then is, and my whole family will say it in unison, “and she never stopped.” My dad used to say, “The one thing that you can do, Berna, is talking. You’re good at talking. Maybe someday you could be the Filipino Connie Chung.” This speech, repeated from when I was 10 years old, made me roll my eyes every time he said it.

The one thing? Only one thing? Today, I believe I’m pretty good at a few things. I can make a really moist and tasty Magnolia style cupcake and chicken Marsala. I started knitting after my birthday and am getting pretty good. I’m also pretty good at folding clothes, sending out Thank You cards on time, wrapping presents and playing a couple of songs on the piano.

Looking back, I wonder how much my father’s praising of the one thing I was good at affected my adult life. Did his prodding to become a professional talker make me turn my back on becoming a journalist? Did my role as the talker of the family effect the way my brothers communicate today? Or, did his speeches ultimately give me the confidence to know that I was pretty good at communicating and to try to harness this in my work and home life?

All four of my children demonstrate one thing that they seem to be pretty good at right now. Paul said, “Natalie is good at drawing. Paulina is good at taking care of people. Max is a clown and will probably get into acting or music. Aidan is good at creating mayhem and will end up in a minimum security prison.” OK, so I hope that the last bit about Aidan isn’t true. But, we do go through our days reinforcing how good they are at the things they do without really encouraging them to do other things well.

But, what happens later? Does laser focusing on the one thing make that one thing a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or, will other things pop up organically and we’ll know to take the cue when those things happen? It’s such a slippery slope. I just hope that when those other things present themselves, we’ll have the wherewithal to notice and celebrate them.