Birthday Parties – Is restraint possible?

Walking down Michigan Avenue in Chicago on a Saturday afternoon, one would not believe that we’re in a global recession. I could hardly get past the department store formerly known as Marshall Fields without being elbowed, bumped or paper cut by a sea of shopping bags. The goal of my jaunt was to get some cardio and also figure out what to do for my son’s eighth birthday.

My husband and I have been grappling with the idea for a few weeks. We’ve at least agreed on what we don’t want to do:

- no jumpy castle and no scary face-painting clowns
- no Chuck E. Cheese party (I have no issue with the rat but with swine flu still around, I can’t risk having my two-year old twins swimming around in the dirty ball attraction and contracting the virus)
- no over-the-top shindig with themed goodie bags filled with cheap junk that will end up in land fills

You need only pick up any number of newspapers or magazines to read about the supposed age of restraint; people are using coupons and shopping lists! Sales at Wal-Mart and other discount retailers are booming! Car sales are down for the umpteenth consecutive quarter! While I believe many Americans have restraint on their mind, it is only because their 401Ks and IRAs have shrunk, their property values are down and many are afraid of losing their job. It’s not a rational decision; the behavior is born out of necessity, a feeling that they are no longer as wealthy as they once were, even if they’ve been lucky enough to still be employed.

So, how does one plan a birthday party in the age of restraint? A depression era theme where you ask people to wear sandwich boards and arrive with tin cups? Have an anti-gift policy and leave your child scarred for life? Plan a BYO sandwich meat party where we only need supply bread and we ask our friends and family to provide the meat?

One of the first big culture shocks that my immigrant parents experienced was the spectacle of birthday parties. In the Philippines, birthday parties are a rarity. They celebrated everyday that they did not die from Malaria, Polio, Smallpox, a monsoon or starvation. Growing up, my parents attempted to adapt to this tradition by singing Happy Birthday over carrot cake, banana bread or zucchini bread, all cakes made with no frosting, no character themed accoutrements or candles molded into the age of the recipient. Did it make me into a crack-head frosting fiend in my adult years? You betcha! Did I feel they loved me any less? Absolutely not.

I’m certain we’ll come up with some middle ground plan that teaches our kids that it does not take a fortune to usher in another wonderful year in their lives. However, you can bet whatever we choose to do, it will involve some type of frosting.